How Culture Has Demonized and Exploited Your Husband’s Sexuality
Why your husband’s God-given desire has been twisted by the world—and what you can do about it.
We live in a culture that glorifies sexual expression but vilifies male sexuality—especially within marriage. Men are mocked as “dogs” for having normal, God-designed desires, while the same culture parades hyper-sexualized content as empowerment. It’s a confusing and hostile environment for husbands who genuinely want to honor their wives, control their thoughts, and pursue intimacy within the boundaries of biblical marriage. In this post, I want to shed light on the double standards, the spiritual battle your husband faces every day, and why understanding what he’s up against is key to protecting both his heart and your marriage.
If all men are dogs, western society is an abusive kennel. And even kennel houses train dogs. Successful training reinforces desired behavioral patterns. It also punishes behaviors deemed as undesirable by those in charge. Good men who desire to look at and love their wives are now something of a cultural oddity.
Culture glorifies overt expressions of sexuality.
Sexual liberation is viewed as progressive in spite of its deconstructive effects it has had on society and relationships. Family structure has been eroded, pornography is rampant, and poor mental health is at a crisis level. We’ve learned that sex sells, but it feels more like a Faustian bargain. Much like the current financial market, the supply of sexuality is heavily inflated.
America is overdue for a market correction. The correction must come from the spiritual rebirth of strong men and wives.
In a culture where sexuality is ubiquitous, an interesting phenomenon has occurred. Men are inundated with advertising, images and even real- life sightings that would have been confined to obscurity decades ago. In the midst of the bombardment of overt sexuality, men’s sexuality is seen as dirty.
I read a Facebook post not long ago about a Christian summer camp. A male counselor was speaking up about swimwear. His contention is that the young ladies should be able to wear whatever (read: as little as) they wanted. He deemed the teenage male campers as “creeps” if they had a natural response to the female form. I found this heavy- handed double standard approach heart breaking. If there is any place where a young man should be free from sexual bombardment it should be among his fellow believers.
The cord of sexual impropriety is two- fold.
Women have a natural desire to want to be seen. Men have a natural desire to look. This is why pornography is unhealthy for both sides of the coin. It is a good thing for men to be accountable for their sexual appetite. Encouraging sexual gluttony from the female perspective is counterproductive.
The Biblical truth is we have a responsibility toward one another.
The truth is men’s sexuality is normal and natural. Men have a physiological response to the female form. Parts of his brain are either activated or deactivated during arousal. Enter: the abuse. If men aren’t entirely in control of their physiological response, then it makes sense to view the ads, social media posts, and outfits worn by women as predatory and manipulative. What if you correctly saw your husband as under attack when you encounter public lewdness? Read that carefully. We are 100% in control of our actions. What we can’t control is the activity in our brain.
Fun fact: a scantily clad woman activates the same part of the brain in a man as when he is viewing simple tools. If you hate objectification; don’t appear as something to be used.
I realize this is an uphill battle. Most people will publicly defend and justify pornography online. Little account is given to how it fuels the demand for trafficking and other evils. Pornography addiction is likely more common than any drug or alcohol. It is impossible for society to put a tap on perversion. When the dam breaks the results are catastrophic.
As Christians we should be careful that cultural rot and disarray doesn’t come nigh our homes. It may garner social media likes to demean your husbands desire for you, but what is he really saying when he tries to initiate sex with you? Take it from me, as spouse with a high libido is a compliment, not a creep.
The restoration of sanctity and sanity begins with strong men.
We as men have to take full accountability. Control what we can control. We can choose what to view online. We can choose not to look twice when we are out in public. Strong men have full autonomy over their loins. Your wife, not those random strangers, earned intimate access to you. You have to understand that you are created in God’s image and choose not to bow to sexual idolatry. Your body, heart and thoughts belong to the woman God blessed you with. Read Proverbs 5.
Women should refuse to partake of the fruit of the tree of modern culture.
Becoming a sexual object is not empowering or liberating. Modesty and femininity have been all but destroyed. Culture has taken what was sacred and meant for your husband and turned it into a cheap thrill for public viewing pleasure. The Bible is clear that the body of the wife is the husband’s, not social media followers. Understanding how your husband’s mind works will hopefully give insight and sympathy for consideration of what he faces every day. Make it a point to be his peace of mind. He will have special ways to thank you.
If this message resonated with you, you’re not alone. We’re building a community of couples who are tired of the cultural noise and ready to restore intimacy the way God intended in their marriage. If you’re looking for honest conversations, biblical truth, and practical tools to deepen your connection, we’d love to stay in touch. Sign up for our newsletter and be the first to know when we release new blog posts, podcast episodes, resources, and events to help you grow together.
