If you are grappling with painful sex, whether you’re newlyweds, recently had a baby, or simply find intimacy uncomfortable, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. According to the mayo clinic an estimated 40% of women experience painful intercourse at some point in their lives. Rest assured though, this doesn’t have to be your norm, and there are steps you can take to reclaim the joy and pleasure in your sexual encounters together!

The Biggest Mistake You Can Make When Experiencing Painful Sex

Before delving into what steps to take, it’s crucial to address what actions to avoid, as many couples inadvertently fall into this detrimental pattern, which can severely strain a marriage. One of the most harmful responses is simply gritting your teeth and enduring the pain. Not only does this pose potential physical harm, as pain often signals an underlying issue, but it can also inflict emotional damage to both you and your spouse.

Sex serves as a vital avenue for fostering intimacy and connection between partners. When approached correctly, it yields both physical pleasure and emotional fulfillment, enriching the marital bond. It’s a reciprocal exchange, with both partners giving and receiving pleasure. By enduring pain in silence, you not only deprive yourself of the joy of intimate connection but also deny your partner the satisfaction of knowing they are fulfilling your wants and needs sexually.

Exploring Solutions To Help Alleviate Painful Sex

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, open communication with your spouse is paramount. It doesn’t imply inadequacy on either part or doom for your sexual enjoyment; rather, it indicates that adjustments are needed to enhance your experience. With that in mind, let’s explore steps to eliminate or reduce pain and improve your sex life.

Finding Out If There’s An Underlying Cause

Priority number one is to determine whether there’s an underlying physical issue that requires attention. Inform your healthcare provider about the pain you’re experiencing during sex, as they can assist in identifying any potential physical concerns that need addressing.

Trying Different Positions and Angles

Experimenting with various positions can help alleviate pain during sex. There’s a plethora of positions to explore, and altering positions, pace, and who is in control of major movements can have a significant impact. Additionally, adjusting angles within the same position might help as well.

It’s crucial to communicate openly with your spouse. Inform them promptly if anything is uncomfortable, and collaborate to gauge the effectiveness of different angles and positions in finding what suits you best.

Spending More Time in Foreplay

If you and your spouse typically dive straight into intercourse without sufficient foreplay, this could contribute to your experience of pain. Without proper arousal, your muscles may remain tense, and inadequate lubrication can exacerbate discomfort, making it challenging to enjoy intimacy.

Consider slowing down and dedicating more time to activities like kissing, touching, oral stimulation, massage, or even incorporating toys. These can help prepare your body, allowing it to relax and build anticipation for intercourse, ultimately enhancing the overall experience.

Applying More Lubrication

Dryness can significantly contribute to pain during intercourse. Insufficient lubrication creates friction, and while some friction can be pleasurable, excessive friction can lead to discomfort. If you’re experiencing pain, don’t hesitate to use lubrication during sex.

There are various types of lubricants available, including water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and organic options. Experiment with different varieties to determine which works best for you and your partner. When sex feels painful or uncomfortable, simply adding more lubricant can often alleviate or resolve the issue.

Doing Kegel Exercises

Doing kegel exercises can aid in strengthening the muscles of your pelvic floor, potentially reducing discomfort during sex. Additionally, breathing techniques to relax your pelvic floor during and after intercourse might be helpful in alleviating pain as well.

If you haven’t had any luck with any of the options mentioned above, it may be beneficial to consult with a pelvic floor physical therapist. To learn more about the benefits of seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist and learn 3 different exercises generally recommended to reduce pain during sex click here.

Taking a Break From Having Sex

If sex is downright just too painful at the moment it may be a good idea to take abstain from having sex while you work to discover what the problem is. Maybe you just had a baby and your body needs time to heal, or maybe you’ve discovered there is a medical issue you are working towards resolving.

Important Note: Taking a break from sex does not mean taking a break from getting intimate with your spouse. Physical intimacy is just as important to a relationship as emotional intimacy and should not be put on hold. If you are taking a break from sex you can still enjoy other physically intimate activities together. Talk to your spouse about what you would enjoy and also what their needs are and come up with a plan so you both can feel fulfilled and loved during this temporary break of sex in your marriage.

Importance of Prioritizing Finding Solutions For Painful Sex

Experiencing painful sex is a common occurrence that many couples face at some stage in their marriage together. Understanding that you’re not alone and learning about the steps you can take can alleviate the frustration and disappointment that often accompanies painful intercourse.

Don’t hesitate to discuss with your spouse if sex is uncomfortable or painful. Open communication is essential for your partner to understand what you’re experiencing, enabling both of you to work together on finding solutions to make sex just as equally enjoyable and fulfilling to both you and your spouse. Ultimately, prioritizing and addressing this issue together can strengthen your relationship and enrich your marriage.

Disclaimer: Please note that I am not a medical professional, and the information provided in this article is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for personalized guidance on your specific situation.


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