Explore age-old wisdom from the Bible amidst today’s cultural chaos to uncover the heart of contemporary marriage debates. Delve into biblical insights on marriage, family, gender roles, and leadership to help you experience deeper relationship harmony, revolutionizing your marriage with timeless truths.

The Bible

Why Scripture, not culture, should inform your vision for marriage 

Every few weeks it seems a new “controversy” for couples to debate over makes its rounds on social media. Some issues have large gray areas and leave room for nuance, which, to be fair, isn’t a strong characteristic of social media discourse. Issues like the frequency of sex in marriage, the distribution of household chores, and working spouses are a few issues that fall into this category. More often than not, however, some issues are hotly debated that the Bible and Christians have had figured out for years. The troubling theme of culture is an obvious one. 

As culture abandons the truth of scripture, they will struggle to rediscover the plain text truth the Bible conveys. 

Social media is filled to the brim with red pills, blue pills, and black pill ideology. Not unlike its physical counterpart referred to as “big pharma”, the true cost and benefit of its existence is highly contested. Ministers are often relegated to the stands of the cultural wrestling match as big tech pantomimes as a non-partial referee. Finding truth becomes less of a priority than making a meme out of your opponent in the aptly named “gender war”. 

Embracing Biblical Principles

The truth of the Bible is forever settled. 

As culture responds to the whims of unknown social engineers it becomes more important than ever to root yourself in the Holy Writ. It’s only sensible to consult the designer of man, marriage and family when issues arise within any of the institutions’ functions. One obvious truth found in scripture is man’s default fallen condition. A fallen person is a selfish person. 

A culture obsessed with narcissism is antithetical to healthy family dynamics and relationships. 

God’s Design for Marriage

One of my favorite “debates” to make its social media rounds was about who gets their dinner plate first; the children or the husband? I’ll admit in my own household some situations call for an audible during the execution of dinnertime duties. If the day is a bit more chaotic, we make an intentional effort to settle the kids in first. Not once has there been a debate as to whether or not the children are prioritized over the father. It’s no wonder men are choosing a bachelor life over a married one. No husband or wife desires to be a second-class person over their own children. 

Children are a gift from God bestowed upon married couples, not a weapon or stumbling block between you and your spouse. 

Your spouse was the first gift God gave you to enable the production of kids. My philosophy of the family order is a simple one. Mom and dad love each other so much that the kids get to live in the overflow. If spouses decide to take care of one another the kids will absolutely be better off. God’s order for the family provides a peace that no cultural ideology can usurp.  

Leadership in Marriage

God orchestrated men to be the leader of the family. 

This is a truth as old as time itself, but contemporary ideology feels the need to prove it all over again. The victim of the social experiment is the modern family. Holy matrimony without God’s holy order is a painful exercise in futility. I often hear it said that husbands and wives are equal partners in marriage. While that sounds politically correct and like the right thing to say I would ask equal in what way? The word equality has been hijacked by secularists. Biblically, we are equal in that God paid the same price for our sins. My soul is no more valuable than yours. That is the extent of it.  

No business or endeavor can succeed without a distinct leader. 

Even secular corporations have sense enough to appoint an executive and have an executive board. Sports teams, the most “alpha” men regularly produced, have sense enough to appoint captains on their teams. Why is it when it comes to marriage do we abandon the Bible and pretend men aren’t meant to lead? When weak men don’t lead the entire culture is vulnerable to disorder. It is how we get drag queens reading to the children of single mothers on the public dime. I realize this may not be easy to read, but living in a cultural hell is harder than living according to God’s order. A man leads his wife, whom he loves and cherishes as Christ loves the church. A woman reverences her husband and his leadership as a church follows Christ.  

A Call to Prioritize Godly Order

Expecting peace in your household outside of the natural order leads to deep unhappiness. 

Unmet expectation is the seed of discontentment. Happiness is found in pursuit of God’s purpose. This applies to your marriage as well. We can’t afford to allow godless media to shape our opinion of how our lives should look. Unhappiness is simply the symptom. Abandoning the Scriptural order is the root cause. Prioritize God in your family. The peace and joy will be the symptom of harmony and righteousness. The culture has chosen their god. When they climb the final mountain on the battlefield of culture, it will be the Christians waiting to help pull them to the top. 


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